mX newspaper
You’ve just knocked off from a long day at the office and you want a cosy haven where you can have a classy drink list or a ‘bogan platter’ to stop your stomach squealing.
Just take a seat at Gertrude’s Brown Couch.
Co-owner Matt Hayman says the venue was a takeaway shop that dished up pizza in the 1990s. These days it’s the divine drink selection that has Melbournians pulling up a bar stool.
Since mX last visited a couple of years ago, new management and upgrades including a fresh sound mixer, lighting and future inclusion of a band stage, is only adding to its trendy base of old-school booths, sly couches and candlelit walkways.
But Matt’s confident that what sets the bar apart is the microbrewed beers, such as Little Creek or Boatrocker fresh from boutique breweries.
Gertrude’s prides itself on being the flagship to stock Two Brothers and was the first to put Gypsy Cider on tap.
Bartenders are given the freedom of concocting cocktails and the creative licence has been rewarded with regulars returning for a cold Lizzie’s Disco Pash or Lightning’s Disco Dozy.
A mix of Agwa, vodka, Red Bull and cider dubbed Liquid Cocaine is the bar’s most ordered drink.
The lounge is taken over by young professionals most evenings before and influx of the late-night crowd, eager
to listen to the revolving door of DJs and local artists from Thursday to Saturday nights.
On the night I visit, the melodic sound of Melbourne rockers Litesalt can be heard wafting through the lounge, atrium and courtyard as patrons kick back.
Lazy ass mofo’s guide to summer
According to local council bi-laws the brown couch so unceremoniously dumped on Gertrude Street under the cover of darkness, found itself just outside the stipulated maximum three metres from the curb… and thus left behind. Within days the area surrounding the couch was filled with more couches. A bar stocked with a brilliant selection of beers, both bottled and on tap, as well as a strong range of spirits, appeared. Walla turned up, followed by a roof, and a second level above it! A hip crew of locals started regularly proppin up the couches, and filling whatever space was left, as bands started filling the ‘brown couch’ with fresh live sounds. As they say… one person’s rubbish is another’s favourite venue!
melbournepubs.com
“Good wine – Yep. Crisp tap beer – Tick. A range of local & import stubs – Damn straight! You’ll find communal booths, a stand up bar, a sly love seat, a swish lounge room, and an atrium & courtyard.
Beer Garden?
Absolutely.”
deckofsecrets.com
“Like a circa 1970s rumpus room with its abundance of wood panelling, exposed brickwork and, of course, a well-worn brown couch. A better-than-average selection of beers including a monthly microbrewery special. Best for satisfying live music cravings cheaply – on Thursdays and Fridays, you can see multiple bands for the price of a drink.”